


A Friendly Interest

by openendings



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Beforus, Kankri's life is ruined forever, Meulin has a disturbingly scabrous imagination, but probably not literally, or figuratively, trumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-25
Updated: 2012-10-25
Packaged: 2017-11-17 00:51:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/545705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/openendings/pseuds/openendings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You are going to find this Meulin person and you are going to *murder* her. You can only hope that posterity looks kindly upon you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Friendly Interest

**Author's Note:**

> My first attempt at writing Homestuck fanfic. Hope it's to your taste(s) :)

The sun has long since risen, and the harsh Beforan sunlight is hard at work, baking the outer walls of your hive a burnt ochre. Any normal troll would long since have settled into their recuperacoon. 

Needless to say, you are not ANY NORMAL TROLL. You are a TROLL ON A MISSION. 

Your LONG-TIME FRIEND, a jadeblood by the name of Porrim Maryam, is currently being WRONG on the INTERNET. 

> edificeofenlightenment:
>
>> porrim replied to your post:
>>
>>> I do+n't think we fundamentally disagree here. We bo+th agree that certain entrenched cultural and hereditary inequities result in an unfair distributio+n o+f privilege. O+ur o+nly po+int o+f disagreement is yo+ur o+utright denial o+f inequity based o+n gender.
>>> 
>>> Perhaps yo+ur co+mbinatio+n o+f rare blo+o+d type and male gender mean that yo+u are mo+re dispo+sed to+ take serio+usly the issues visible to+ yo+u, to+ the exclusio+n o+f everything else? 
>> 
>> 6e careful with y9ur use 9f the w9rd "rare" when referring t9 6l99d type: it c9uld 6e c9nstrued as a slur, h9wever unintenti9nal, against th9se wh9se hem9identity is predicated 9n their 6l99d c9l9r 6eing c9mm9nplace. F9r instance there are yell9wgreens, s9me 9f wh9m I f9ll9w 9n trum6lr, wh9 are triggered 6y -- TRIGGER WARNING: l9w-frequency hem9type discussi9n -- menti9ns 9f the relatively l9w frequency 9f their hem9type. 
>> 
>> In my case I am happy t9 ackn9wledge that, yes, my 6l99d c9l9r is perhaps entirely unique t9 myself, 6ut this d9es n9t 6y any means necessarily extend t9 any 9ther tr9lls in c9mpara6le situati9ns. I understand that jade6l99ds are als9 rare, 6ut still, y9u must check y9ur hem9type-6anality privilege. 
>> 
>> Regarding the rest 9f y9ur p9st, as I have t9ld y9u c9untless times, the the9retical p9ssi6ility 9f gender inequity is s9 far rem9ved fr9m reality that treating it as such muddies the imp9rtant dial9gue we c9uld 6e having. It's an interesting c9ntext fr9m which we can view the f9rces that shape kyriarchal c9nflict, 6ut little m9re. 

> porrim:
>
>> Yo+u've co+mpletely sidestepped my po+int. Let me reiterate: 
>>
>>> Perhaps yo+ur co+mbinatio+n o+f rare blo+od type and male gender mean that yo+u are mo+re dispo+sed to+ take serio+usly the issues visible to+ yo+u, to+ the exclusio+n o+f everything else? 

> edificeofenlightenment:
>
>> P9rrim, d9n't y9u think it's a little 9ffensive t9 claim that hem9spectrum castigati9n is n9 m9re relevant than the gender-6ased kind? The caste system which dictates m9st s9cial m9res is c9mpletely 9rth9g9nal t9 y9ur wh9lly artificial male-female distincti9n. Which, might I add, is clearly a c9ntemp9rary s9cial c9nstruct. 

> porrim replied to your post:
>
>> Co+mpletely o+rtho+go+nal? What do+ yo+u have to+ say abo+ut the o+bvio+us gender imbalance in tho+se psio+nics emplo+yed in critical ro+les? O+r in cro+ss-caste gro+ups like the Threshecarers? 
>> 
>> It's incredibly hurtful to+ victims o+f systemic gender predjudice when self-pro+claimed so+cial justice warrio+rs like yo+u deny the very existence o+f the fo+rces that subjugate them. 

> mewnmeow replied to your post:
>
>> > [...]
>> 
>> I'M NOT REALLY AN EXPURRT ON THIS, BUT JUST MY TWO BOONDOLLARS HERE 
>> 
>> I THINK IT'S PURRETTY AWFUL IF TROLLS GET CULLED JUST BECLAWS THEIR BLOOD IS TOO YELLOW-Y, BUT I ALSO THINK IT'S AWFUL IF TROLLS GET CULLED JUST BECLAWS THEY'RE GIRLS 
>> 
>> MAYBE EVERYONE WHO THINKS IT'S BAD WHEN TROLLS GET CULLED FOR THE WRONG REASONS SHOULD GET TOGETHER AND FURGET ABOUT THEIR DIFFURENCES 
>> 
>> AND THEN FIGHT INJUSTICE TOGETHER! \\(^・ω・^)/ 

This is the first time anyone but Porrim has joined one of your  
dialogues, and you admit you're intrigued. You click through to this  
mewnmeow's page, and...

... _holy shit_ you hightail it out of there. 

You disable images on your browser and click through again. 

With all the borderline pornographic photomanipulations gone, what's left is a saccharinely coloured site covered with dancing beast GIFs as far as the eye can see. She's following Porrim, but those reblogs seem out of tone with everything else. Most of her posts are two-paragraph romance stories which even _you_ can tell are terrible. 

Her 'About me' section reads: 

> MEULIN! 5/F/SHIPPURR! ONLY THE HIGHEST QUALITY SHIPPING HERE! 

You're not sure what to make of this person having taken an interest in  
Porrim. Naturally, you go straight to the hoofbeast's mouth for answers.

> contraireGalitaire [CG] began trolling gildedAurora [GA]  
> CG: Wh9 exactly is this Meulin pers9n and why is she f9ll9wing y9u?  
> GA: Go+o+d mo+rning to+ yo+u, Kankri.  
> GA: She's a friend. I mentio+ned to+ her that I was o+n Trumblr. She's taking a friendly interest.  
> CG: Y9u're n9t supp9sed t9 capitalise the t in trum6lr.  
> CG: I didn't realise y9u had s9 many 9nline friends.  
> GA: Are yo+u jealo+us that I've go+tten mo+re o+nline fo+llo+wers in o+ne perigee than yo+u have in a sweep?  
> CG: There is n9 jeal9usy inv9lved here.  
> GA: Yo+u are transparent as always.  
> GA: Pro+mise me yo+u'll behave, all right?  
> GA: Yo+u can be rather... acerbic at times. It's o+ff-putting to+ peo+ple who+ do+n't kno+w yo+u so+ well.  
> CG: Acer6ic?  
> CG: P9rrim, d9n't 6e ridicul9us. I'm a69ut as trigger-c9nsci9us as any9ne can 6e.   
> 

Tentatively, you reply to Meulin's post: 

> edificeofenlightenment:
>
>> It's a n96le dream, 6ut the unf9rtunate truth is that there's 9nly a finite am9unt 9f rhet9rical energy in the w9rld t9 expend 9n s9cial justice. Giving equal time t9 causes which are, frankly, n9n-issues, is unc9nstructive 9n the wh9le. 

> porrim replied to your post:
>
>> Gender discriminatio+n is no+t a no+n-issue, yo+u callo+us bastard. 
>> 
>> I can't believe I let yo+u talk me into+ having these ridiculo+us o+ne-sided debates with yo+u where any grub with a huskto+p can see them. 

> edificeofenlightenment:
>
>> I d9n't think I need t9 inf9rm y9u h9w pr96lematic y9ur use 9f "6astard" is, especially t9 gru6s with9ut lusii. 

> porrim replied to your post:
>
>> There are no+ such grubs. Yo+u can't actually be o+ffended o+n behalf o+f peo+ple who+ literally do+ no+t and have never existed. 

> edificeofenlightenment:
>
>> Y9u d9n't have t9 exist t9 6e victimised 6y the privileged. 

> porrim replied to your post:
>
>> Yes yo+u fucking do+. 
>> 
>> And, _may I just add_ , if yo+u _were_ right, then yo+u sho+uld be taking real issues like gender equality at _least_ as impo+rtantly as yo+ur no+n-existent lusus-free grub pro+blems. 

> mewnmeow replied to your post:
>
>> OMIGOSH I DIDN'T START A FIGHT OR ANYTHING DID I? 
>> 
>> SOOOOOOOOO SORRY IF I DID (^;_;^) 
>> 
>> ANYWAY, I HOPE YOU'RE NOT UPSET! I JUST THINK THERE SHOULD BE LESS ARGUING BETW33N PEOPLE WHO REALLY ARE ALL ON THE SAME SIDE! 

> edificeofenlightenment:
>
>> mewnmeow, 
>> 
>> I c9mpletely agree. It pains me when s9-called s9cial activists like P9rrim ch99se t9 waste time 9n these friv9lities, 6ut there's tr9llkind f9r y9u. 
>> 
>> I'm glad t9 see that at least _y9ur_ heart's in the right place. 

You _do_ mean that. It's always a good feeling bringing someone new into  
the fold. (Which is to say, this has never happened before.)

> mewnmeow replied to your post:
>
>> H33H33H33! 
>> 
>> MY HEART'S ALWAYS IN THE RIGHT PLACE. THAT'S JUST HOW A PURFESSIONAL SHIPPER ROLLS! 

(...never mind, she's a lost cause.)

You type a reply post while skimming her trumblr, searching for ammunition. 

> edificeofenlightenment:
>
>> mewnme9w, 
>> 
>> While I admire y9ur enthusiasm, I must hasten t9 p9int 9ut that a "purrfessi9nal shipper", as y9u've elected t9 title y9urself, treads s9me very sensitive gr9und. I've l99ked at a little 9f y9ur writing, and frankly, I'm c9ncerned that s9me 9f y9ur characters serve t9 entrench negative stere9types a69ut vari9us hem9types. 
>> 
>> F9r example, I n9ticed in 9ne st9ry, "9ne Day at the 6east Encl9sure Facility", y9u had a um6er 6l99d character wh9, and I qu9te, "l9ves t9 party". This directly inv9kes the canard that 6U9Y-6l99ded tr9lls tend t9 6e gregari9us and energetic, a harmful myth which raises unrealistic expectati9ns f9r m9re withdrawn warm-identifying tr9lls. In an9ther st9ry 9f y9urs, "The Vixen Fr9m Hive6l9ck F9ur 9ne Three", 9ne 9f y9ur pr9tag9nists is, again, 6U9Y, and this time y9u descri6e him as "pretty shy m9st 9f the times, even th9ugh he had a g99d heart". In _this_ case y9u're milking the exact same stere9type -- retr9active trigger warning f9r udder6east slurs -- f9r dramatic effect 6y presenting a character wh9 d9esn't fall int9 the m9uld. 9nce again that creates an unrealistic exemplar f9r impressi9na6le y9ung tr9lls wh9 identify thusly. 
>> 
>> Y9u need 6e very careful in h9w y9u ch99se t9 descri6e tr9lls, ficti9nal 9r 9therwise. I l99k f9rward t9 helping y9u thr9ugh y9ur j9urney t9wards greater s9cial awareness. 
>> 
>> P.S. The tr9ll wh9se hand is in that picture appears t9 have ch9sen t9 deli6erately file d9wn their claws, which is a perfectly valid lifestyle ch9ice and d9esn't deserve t9 6e m9cked the way y9u've d9ne. I think the implicati9n that the hand l99ks that way due t9 the me9w6east's mauling it is, frankly, 9ffensive t9 pe9ple with 69dy dysph9ria issues. 

> mewnmeow replied to your post:
>
>> I DON'T UNDERSTAND. THAT PICTURE LOOKS LIKE A SELFIE. HOW CAN YOU OFFEND YOURSELF BY TAKING A PICTURE??? 

> edificeofenlightenment:
>
>> It's c9mplicated. 6ut I'm glad y9u asked. The t9pic 9f 69dy dysph9ria, and general self-image-m9dificati9n shaming, is t99 deep f9r me t9 c9ver in this p9st. Here are a few well written p9sts that sh9uld help y9u get started. 
>> 
>>   * edificeofenlightenment, "Species dysph9ria and the c9mm9n tr9ll"
>>   * thehoofbeastmediator, "Surf@ce-@nly Tr@llh@@d"
>>   * scaleglaze, "my aSCenSion to dragonhood"
>>   * twiststurnstarot, "For the last time, I'm not a cluckbeast, I am a species dysphoric cluckbeast"
>> 


She doesn't respond. You wonder whether her eyes glazed over at the first  
sign of serious issues, or whether she's following up on your links.  
Either way, you've done your job here.

Your perfectly civil disputation with Porrim continues for a few more days until she inexplicably throws a fit and declares that she's not interested in continuing, and you quote, "this ridiculous one-sided divorced-from-reality lecture of yours". 

Offended, you tell Porrim you're not speaking to her ever again. She says good riddance. Several hours later the two of you have completely forgotten about the whole thing, and are having an animated Trollian discussion about the merits of Web Troll-Point-Oh as a tool for social change. 

Porrim's mysterious friend resurfaces a few days later. 

> mewnmeow:
>
>> O. M. G. 
>> 
>> THAT TRUMBLR WAS REALLY COOL! I JUST SPENT THE LAST FOREVER READING THROUGH THE BACKLOG. 
>> 
>> ACTUALLY I THINK I CAN RELATE TO THE WHOLE SPECIES DYSPHORIA THING. I ALWAYS THOUGHT IT WOULD BE REALLY SW33T TO BE A MEOWBEAST FOR A DAY, JUST LIKE MY LUSUS! 
>> 
>> THANKS FOR THE LINK!!!!!!!!! 

> edificeofenlightenment:
>
>> Y9u're very welc9me! I'm glad I was a6le t9 help y9u 9n y9ur j9urney 9f self disc9very. It's always great t9 see s9me9ne start al9ng the r9ad 9f s9cial c9nsci9usness. 
>> 
>> If y9u ever want t9 talk a69ut the general pr96lem 9f 6ef9rus's entrenched cis-species attidudes, I'd 6e interested t9 hear y9ur take. 

> mewnmeow:
>
>> OMG I JUST HAD THE GREATEST IDEA! 
>> 
>> I'M GOING TO GO WRITE A FRIENDFIC ABOUT ME TURNING INTO A MEOWBEAST 
>> 
>> AND IT'S CONFUSING BECAUSE I WAS A TROLL BEFORE, BUT THEN I LEARN TO COPE 
>> 
>> AND YOU ARE MY WISE DUCK MENTOR AND YOU TEACH ME HOW TO HUNT WITH MY BARE CLAWS 
>> 
>> (WHICH I ALREADY KNOW HOW TO DO BUT THAT'S SORT OF THE PREMISE!) 

> edificeofenlightenment:
>
>> Why w9uld a quack6east kn9w h9w t9 hunt? 
>> 
>> _Why am I a quack6east?_

She doesn't respond. 

Several nights pass and you have more or less forgotten about the exchange. 

You wake up one night to find a message from Porrim waiting for you on Trollian. 

> gildedAurora [GA] began trolling contraireGalitaire [CG]  
> GA: I'm heading to+ my recuperaco+o+n no+w, but I imagine yo+u'll want to+ lo+o+k this o+ver o+nce yo+u're up.  
> gildedAurora [GA] sent contraireGalitaire [CG] the file "SPECIES-DYSFURIA-ADVENTURE.txt"  
> 

Your curiosity gets the better of you. You double-click. 

> ONE DAY I (MY NAME IS NILUEM IN THIS STORY) WOKE UP AND SOMETHING WAS DIFFERENT. 
> 
> I LOOKED AT MY HANDS AND THEY WERE MEOWBEAST HANDS. I LOOKED AT MY F33T AND THEY WERE MEOWBEAST F33T. AND I HAD A MEOWBEAST TUMMY AND MEOWBEAST YOU-KNOW-WHATS AND MEOWBEAST FUR. 
> 
> I WAS REALLY CONFUSED AND I SAID "WHAT'S HAPPENING?" I COULD STILL TALK! I WENT TO A MIRROR. 
> 
> I LOOKED AT MY NOSE AND IT WAS A MEOWBEAST NOSE. I LOOKED AT MY EYES AND THEY WERE MEOWBEAST EYES... 

You scroll down to the bottom. 

> "THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR HELP, IRKNAK THE QUACKBEAST! YOU ARE TRULY A VERY SUPPURRTIVE PERSON, EVEN IF YOU DO NOT LOOK LIKE A REAL TROLL AT ALL, BUT I GUESS I'M NOT EITHER!"
> 
> "NOW YOU CAN BE THE MEOWBEAST YOU WERE ALWAYS MEANT TO BE!" SAID IRKNAK. 
> 
> "I CAN'T WAIT TO RUN FR33 ALL DAY AND ROAM THE WILDS!" I SAID. "BUT OH NO HOW WILL I HAVE LITTLE GRUBS NOW THAT I AM NOT A TROLL?" 
> 
> "IT IS OKAY!" SAID IRKNAK, "YOU CAN USE A CAT PAIL! IT'S LIKE A PAIL BUT FOR MEOWBEASTS INSTEAD!" 
> 
> "I DIDN'T REALISE THERE WERE SUCH THINGS!!" I SAID, F33LING FURLY SURPRISED. 
> 
> "HERE, NILUEM," HE SAID, TAKING MY WRISTS IN HIS STRONG QUACKBEAST HANDS, "LET ME SHOW YOU MY DUCKPAIL!" 
> 
> AND THEN, DEAR READER, THE NEXT PART OF MY STORY IS TOO MROWNCHY TO TELL!!!!!!!!! ;33 

> contraireGalitaire [CG] began trolling twofoldAwakening [TA]  
> CG: Hyp9thetically speaking.  
> CG: W9uld it 6e p9ssi6le t9 rem9ve all traces 9f a w9rk 9f ficti9n fr9m the Internet?  
> TA: W3ll, 7h3r3'5 4n 4u5p1c10u5 574r7 70 4 c0nv3r54710n.  
> CG: Is it p9ssi6le?  
> TA: Wh47 4r3 y0u 50 d35p3r473 70 g37 r1d 0f?  
> TA: D1d y0u 7ry y0ur h4nd 47 wr171ng p0l171c4l 1n7r1gu3 0r 50m37h1ng?  
> CG: That's n9t it at all.  
> CG: Answer the questi9n: c9uld y9u get rid 9f it?  
> CG: It can't 6e that hard with y9ur hacking skills, right?  
> CG: ...  
> CG: Hell9?  
> CG: Mituna, are y9u there?  
> TA: H0ly 5h17  
> TA: 7h47 7h1ng  
> TA: 7h47 G4 53n7 y0u?  
> TA: 8357. Fuck1ng. 7h1ng. 3v3r.  
> CG: Mituna.  
> CG: Did y9u just hack my Tr9llian acc9unt!?  
> TA: Wh0 15 7h15 cluckgru8? 5h3 d353rv35 4 fuck1ng m3d4l. 8)  
> CG: Can y9u get rid 9f it 9r n9t?  
> TA: Why 4r3 y0u 4 duck? D0 y0u w4n7 70 83 4 duck 0r 50m37h1ng?  
> CG: That's 9ffensive t9 species dysph9ric tr9lls, and, N9.  
> TA: 1 d0n'7 533 why y0u'r3 50 3m84r4553d.  
> TA: 7h15 g1rl'5 d15gu153d y0ur n4m3 4nd 3v3ry7h1ng. 7074lly unr3c0gn1548l3.  
> TA: 17'5 7h3 p3rf3c7 cr1m3.  
> CG: Y9u are a terri6le pers9n.  
> TA: C4n'7 74lk, 700 8u5y f0rw4rd1ng 7h15.  
> contraireGalitaire [CG] ceased trolling twofoldAwakening [TA]  
> 

Shiiiiiiiiiiiit. 

> contraireGalitaire [CG] began trolling gildedAurora [GA]  
> CG: Well, n9w y9u've d9ne it.  
> CG: Mituna saw y9ur cat friend's st9ry. This is a t9tal sham6les.  
> 

Porrim does not reply because she is a JADEBLOOD and hence ASLEEP at this time of night. 

After a few minutes of antsy rumination, it occurs to you that you might be able to stop Mituna from _ruining your life_ without appealing to his apparently-non-existent better judgement. 

> contraireGalitaire [CG] began trolling gameConsumator [GC]  
> CG: Latula!  
> CG: Y9u're 9n g99d terms with Mituna, right?  
> CG: C9uld y9u tell him t9 n9t 6e an immature 69ne6ulge and t9 d9 the right thing?  
> GC: shoot, k4nks....  
> GC: d3p3nds 1f you'll do m3 4 f4vor  
> GC: you scr4tch my b4ck, 1 scr4tch yours, you d1g m3?  
> CG: 9kay. What d9 y9u want?  
> GC: w1ll you show m3 your duckp41l???  
> CG: ...fuck.  
> GC: h4h4h4h4  
> contraireGalitaire [CG] blocked gameConsumator [GC]

Oh gog oh gog oh gog oh gog. 

You are going to find this Meulin person and you are going to _murder_ her. It will not be the most sanctified thing you've ever done. You can only hope that posterity looks kindly upon you. 

> aspiringCritter [AC] began trolling contraireGalitaire [CG]  
> AC: (=^ω^=) < H3333Y!  
> CG: Wh9 is this?  
> AC: MEULIN!  
> CG: 9h. mewnme9w?  
> AC: THAT'S RIGHT!!!  
> AC: I WANTED TO SAY HI, AND ALSO THANKS AGAIN FOR YOUR AWESOME ADVICE THE OTHER DAY!  
> AC: IT WAS. SO. AWESOME.  
> AC: I CAN'T EVEN DESCRIBE HOW EXCITED I AM!!!  
> CG: H9w did y9u get my tr9llhandle?  
> AC: PORRIM GAVE IT TO ME, SILLY!  
> CG: I can't *6elieve* P9rrim w9uld just give 9ut my Tr9llhandle like that.  
> CG: I mean -- and n9 9ffence intended t9 y9u, 9f c9urse -- it's imp9rtant that she respect every9ne's right t9 an9nymity, rather than handing 9ver pe9ple's chumhandles t9 any suspici9us tr9ll they meet.  
> CG: It creates seri9us pr96lems f9r 9pen dem9cratic disc9urse if th9se 9f us less prepared t9 6ear the weight 9f their 6eliefs than I am are f9rced t9 ch99se 6etween silence and having all their 6eliefs, c9ntr9versial 9r n9t, linked irrev9ca6ly t9 their real names.  
> AC: (^._.^) < OH! SORRY!  
> AC: SHOULDN'T YOU BE TELLING THAT TO PORRIM THOUGH?  
> AC: BECLAWS I PROMISE I WON'T TELL ANYONE ELSE!  
> CG: Well, that might *seem* like the c9rrect way t9 prevent future vi9lati9ns 9f my privacy 9n her part, 6ut  
> CG: 6ut  
> CG: I'll 6e 6ack in 9ne sec9nd. contraireGalitaire [CG] ceased trolling aspiringCritter [AC]

> contraireGalitaire [CG] began trolling gildedAurora [GA]  
> CG: I can't *6elieve* y9u w9uld just give 9ut my Tr9llhandle like that.  
> GA: I tho+u+ght yo+u co+uld use the co+mpany, Kanny.  
> CG: I mean -- and n9 9ffence intended t9 her, 9f c9urse --  
> CG:  
> CG: Excuse me??  
> GA: Yo+u've previo+usly co+mplained that my keeping to+ daylight ho+urs makes it difficult to+ find so+meo+ne to+ expo+sit at when the mo+ment strikes.  
> CG: "Exp9sit at" is a very hurtful ch9ice 9f w9rds, P9rrim. "Exp9siti9n" c9nn9tes essays, 9r ficti9n. My writings are neither. I'm 6ringing imp9rtant inf9rmati9n t9 th9se wh9 need t9 hear it.  
> GA: Meaning everyo+ne?  
> CG: Y9ur 6ar6ed hum9r cheapens the p9int.  
> CG: Why did y9u give 9ut my Tr9llhandle t9 the catgirl?  
> GA: Yo+u need mo+re friends, Kanny.  
> CG: I've t9ld y9u 6ef9re, I dislike that nickname.  
> CG: And I d9 n9t "need m9re friends".  
> gildedAurora [GA] sent contraireGalitaire [CG] the file "kankribeingbo+red.txt"  
> CG: And what is this supp9sed t9 6e?  
> gildedAurora [GA] sent contraireGalitaire [CG] the file "kankribeingbo+redagain.txt"  
> gildedAurora [GA] sent contraireGalitaire [CG] the file "kankribeingbo+red3.txt"  
> CG: 9h. Very funny, P9rrim.  
> gildedAurora [GA] sent contraireGalitaire [CG] the file "kankribeingbo+redo+n12thpgeve.txt"  
> CG: C9ndescensi9n. Very funny. Y9u are aware, I assume, that the 9ccasi9nal m9ment 9f ennui d9esn't mean I need additi9nal c9mpany.  
> GA: Remember all the times yo+u to+ld me yo+u wanted mo+re peo+ple to+ talk to+?  
> CG: I never said any such thing.  
> gildedAurora [GA] sent contraireGalitaire [CG] the file "co+nversatio+nwithapatentlylo+nelyredblo+o+d.txt"  
> CG: This is ad h9minem.  
> GA: Yes; this co+nversatio+n is abo+ut yo+u.  
> GA: At what po+int do+ yo+u gracefully co+ncede the po+int?  
> CG: I hate y9u.  
> GA: Talk to+ Meulin. She co+mes by my hive so+metimes. I can vo+uch fo+r her. She's friendly and she means well and she's far mo+re into+ this Trumblr thing o+f yo+urs than I'll ever be.  
> CG: What d9 y9u mean, m9re than y9u ever will?  
> CG: I th9ught y9u were enj9ying 9ur de6ates.  
> GA: To+ a certain extent, yes.  
> GA: All I've do+ne in the three weeks since yo+u co+nvinced me to+ sign up is debate with yo+u.  
> GA: It's invigo+rating, agreed, but we already do+ that o+n Tro+llian, a medium I'm far mo+re used to+.  
> GA: Yo+u're fo+ur sweeps o+ld, fo+r crying o+ut lo+ud. Yo+u co+uld use so+meo+ne a little less do+ur than me - o+r yo+urself - in yo+ur life.  
> CG: I...  
> CG: I really d9n't appreciate y9u acting like y9u're my sec9nd lusus. I can take care 9f myself.  
> GA: Go+ talk to+ her. She do+esn't bite.  
> GA: Well, no+t that I've seen.  
> contraireGalitaire [CG] ceased trolling gildedAurora [GA]  
> 

> aspiringCritter [AC] began trolling contraireGalitaire [CG]  
> AC: HELLO?????????  
> AC: ARE YOU STILL THERE?  
> AC: I HOPE I DIDN'T SCARE YOU AWAY (^;_;^)  
> CG: Hi.  
> AC: HIIIIIIIII!  
> AC: *WAGS TAIL*  
> CG: 6ef9re anything else: y9u need t9 take that writing d9wn right n9w.  
> AC: WRITING?  
> AC: YOU MEAN THE MEOWBEAST STORY?  
> AC: DON'T BE SILLY, I NEVER POSTED IT! I ONLY GAVE IT TO PORRIM TO GIVE TO YOU!  
> CG: Wait. Really?  
> AC: OF COURSE NOT. I WOULD NEVER RELEASE A FRIENDFIC TO THE PUBLIC WITH THE EXPURRESS APPURRVAL OF EVERYONE INVOLVED.  
> CG: 9h.  
> AC: WELL? DO YOU LIKE IT?

Okay, Kankri. Tactfully. 

> CG: It was nice. 6ut please d9n't sh9w any9ne else.  
> AC: *GRINS*  
> AC: I'M SO HAPPY TO HEAR IT!  
> AC: IT'S THE FIRST TIME I'VE WRITTEN A GOLDCITRUS WITH A DUCK BEFORE. I WAS REALLY PURROUD...  
> AC: DO YOU WANT TO TRY WRITING ONE? I THINK IT'S YOUR TURN NOW.  
> AC: IF YOU WANT YOU CAN SPECIES SWAP IT SO THAT YOU'RE THE CAT.  
> AC: THE CHOICE IS ALL YOURS!!!!!!!!!  
> 

If Porrim is expecting this to blossom into a beautiful friendship, she is sorely mistaken.


End file.
